The Weight of Waiting
This week had a different feel to it. We still have so much to do, but neither of us really wanted to do anything about it. Sometimes the enormity of what's ahead just makes you want to sit still for a while.
I made myself sit down and research again, trying to dial in the exact documents we'll need. I want to be certain that when we arrive, everything will be in order. Passports, driver's licenses, birth certificates, marriage license, Lelaine's divorce decree from her previous marriage. In the last three months before we leave, we'll need copies of bank statements and financial institution records. Many documents must be apostilled, and of course, we need four or five copies of everything.
We also need good quality, safe backpacks and suitcases. For bags and backpacks, we're going with the Pacsafe brand, which I just discovered is actually a Seattle based company. We also ordered two Google Pixel 10 Pro XL phones to replace our older iPhones. I wanted to get the smaller Pixel 10, but I know we wouldn't be happy with those screens, so we went with the bigger ones. The phones are a lot cheaper here in the U.S., and we usually keep them for many years anyway. We don't need to upgrade to the latest model every year.
Every time I work off our to do list, it hits me harder…time is approaching fast. It gives me a little anxiety when I really think about the move. It's not fear exactly, more like standing at the edge of something vast. I'll be leaving behind routines I've built over three decades, friends I've made, places I know by heart. I won't casually run into people at the grocery store anymore. I won't know which roads flood in the rain or which coffee shop opens earliest. All of that familiarity just... ends. And then we start building it again from scratch, in a language I'm still learning, in a place I've only seen in photos. I’ve lived here for over thirty years, and Lelaine her whole life. Now we're packing some suitcases and starting over in a new country. But at the same time, it's exciting. I can't wait to go.
The mix of feelings is strange. Some days, France feels impossibly far away. Other days, it feels so close I can almost taste the first croissant we'll share in Montpellier. We're caught between two worlds right now, the life we've built here and the one waiting for us across the ocean.
I think that's it for today. It's almost time for some French lessons. One new French word at a time, we're building the life that's waiting for us.